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THE MOST CRACKED-OUT STORY IN HISTORY

I Die

Webmaster: Queldale Silvertip

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The book is completed and ready, O gentle people, for your diversion and edification.

It may be found at haius.livejournal.com, so you should read it.

I Die

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die evildoers
I am walking.  I have been walking all day long.  I am sick of walking.  My feet hurt.  My shoes are muddy.  I am thoroughly soaked because it has been raining all freaking day, and it's cold, and I'm cold, and I want my mom.

Oh, wait, she was a psychopathic homicidal arsonist who tried to kill me and then committed suicide.  Nevermind.

Anyhow, I slept with a squirrel last night.  No, no, it's not what you think!  I'm not a furry!  I didn't realise it was with me until I woke up, at which point I realised that I had this little furry rodent on my face, and then I screamed and threw it off and it hit a tree and then just lay there on the ground and I thought I'd killed it.  Then I got really scared and I felt just awful, so I went over and tried to pick it up to see if it was still alive and it bit me!!!!  So now I'm probably going to get rabies or something, which is just a horrible thought and does not make me happy.  I've been worrying about it all day.

Anyhow, now I'm going to catch hypothermia because I'm so cold and wet I can't stop shivering, even though I'm walking and that should be keeping me warm, right?  Also I think I'm catching pneumonia too, because I'm starting to have trouble catching my breath and I'm coughing a bunch and all, and basically everything just really sucks right now!

I'm going to go hide in a corner and cry now or something.
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